The Performer. The Pleaser. The Priest.
Three lovers walk into the temple...
One wears a mask.
One forgets himself.
One walks in barefoot, breathing with God.
The Performer
He’s trying.
Hard.
He wants to impress her, make her come, earn her approval through tricks and timing.
But underneath it all, he’s afraid:
Afraid he’s not enough unless he’s doing something right.
The Performer lives in his head.
He’s anxious, overthinking, disconnected from his own pleasure.
His medicine?
Presence over performance.
Breath over bravado.
Feeling over forcing.
The Pleaser
He is soft. Tender. Generous.
He wants her to feel everything. He puts her pleasure first. Always.
But he’s lost himself.
He fears rejection, so he abandons his own truth.
He says “yes” when his body says “no.”
He fears being too much, or not enough.
His medicine?
Boundaries. Boldness. Embodiment.
Because real giving must come from fullness, not fear.
The Priest
He enters the space like it’s holy.
Not to perform. Not to please.
But to worship. To witness. To transmit.
He breathes. He listens.
He meets her with depth, without needing to fix or impress.
The Priest is not performative, but powerful.
He touches the body like it is an altar.
He moves in reverence.
And she melts — not because of what he does,
but because of who he is.
Which Lover Are You?
We all have the Performer. The Pleaser. The Priest within us.
This isn’t about shame - it’s about evolution.
Want to find out which archetype is most active in you right now?
Take the “What Kind of Lover Are You?” Quiz:
https://www.phaedrajadestar.com/home#mens-quiz
Ready to embody the Priest?
Book a private session or explore the Tantra for Lovers course.
https://www.phaedrajadestar.com/class-schedule
