The Line We Never Cross: Medical Safety & Trauma-Informed Intimacy
I teach erotic wellness and sacred intimacy. I also hold a very firm boundary: coaches don’t play doctor. Coaching can transform your life. It is not a medical license.
Years ago, I enrolled in a sex-education course led by a well-known coach who promoted extreme claims—among them, the idea that thyroid medication isn’t necessary and that throat issues could be “healed” by forcefully taking a penis deeper into the throat. I was personally harmed by messaging like this. Luckily, I saw my physician before things got worse. That experience tattooed a lesson onto my heart:
Bodies are complex. Medical advice belongs with licensed clinicians.
I won’t tell you to discontinue your medication. I won’t claim breathwork replaces insulin, or deep-throating replaces thyroid care. I’ll support your pleasure, your boundaries, and your nervous system alongside your medical team.
What ethical coaches do
Teach consent, boundaries, and self-advocacy.
Offer breathwork, pacing, communication, and aftercare.
Help you discern desire vs. compliance; turn-on vs. freeze.
Refer to licensed providers for medical, psychiatric, or complex trauma care.
Model repair and accountability when harm happens.
Sex is never a weapon
I’m equally clear about something else: sex is not for punishment. Using penetration, gagging, or impact to “correct,” “dominate,” or “teach a lesson” crosses into abuse.
“But what if she cries?”
Tears are information, not permission. They can signal pain, overwhelm, shame surfacing, trauma activation—or tender joy. Either way, tears require a pause and a check-in, not more intensity.
My protocol when tears appear:
Stop/Slow immediately. Clear the airway.
Safety first. “You’re safe. I’m here. Do you want space, water, a blanket, a hug?”
Simple choices. “Do you want to stop for tonight?” “Quiet or talking?”
Honor the answer. No convincing, no pressure.
Aftercare + debrief when regulated: “What felt good?” “What didn’t?” “What do you need next time?”
If you and your partner choose to explore higher intensity, you can do it ethically:
Pre-scene negotiation (what’s in/out, why you want it, how it should feel).
Safewords: Green/Yellow/Red.
Body-based signals if the mouth is occupied.
Airway respect—nothing goes in unless the receiver is eager, breathing easily, and can stop things instantly.
Time limits + hydration breaks, then aftercare (warmth, reassurance, quiet, water).
Red flags to reject
“Real women don’t need thyroid meds.”
“If she cries, she’s releasing—go harder.”
“Shove it deeper to overcome resistance.”
Green flags to embrace
“Your safety and sovereignty outrank any scene.”
“Yellow means slow/adjust; Red means stop now.”
“We pause if you cry, we stop if you say stop.”
Coaching is about more care, not more coercion. My commitment is to help you create intimacy that’s conscious, compassionate, and deeply pleasurable—never traumatizing. Your body is wise. Your no is sacred. Your safety is the soil where true ecstasy grows.
Medical Disclaimer: The content, coaching, and practices I offer are for education and personal development only and are not medical advice. Do not start, stop, or change any medication or treatment without the guidance of a licensed healthcare provider.
